out of sorts

The house feels quiet and hesitant, even with children running around it. The laughter and banter that usually gushes out of the bedrooms is gone. It feels very unsettling to me, and I find that even after a bath and a new book, I still feel unsettled and sad. The reason for all this is Samantha. Her little self is not here, and even though I know she'll be back soon, I find myself trying to speed the time.

A basic summary of events goes something like this:
She had a tummy ache in the middle of the night. Kisses, tums, and a drink of water later, I put her back to bed. She ended up thowing up several times that night. The next day, she was quiet, had no appetite, and no energy. That night, she threw up again but she had no symptoms that I would have considered unusual. The next morning, she gave me a very specific and detailed account of her still-present tummy ache. I suspected appendicitis.

I looked it up online, and it seemed fairly unusual for a three-year-old, but her symptoms matched the descriptions perfectly. Josh took her to a local hospital for a few tests, and returned home an hour later telling me they were headed to a hospital in the capital city, about 4 hours drive away. A friend was already on the way over with his car.

He grabbed a shirt and a toothbrush and threw it in the bag. I added a Leapster, some tylenol, and samantha's favorite blanket and doll. Just like that, they were gone.

Later that afternoon, my friend Amy had me completely convinced and at-ease about leaving my other children indefinitely with her, so I grabbed a spot on the train to meet them in the capital city. There were no seats left on the train, so my ticket was a standing ticket. Perhaps it was the suddenness of the situation, or the absence of a plush first-class seat, but I felt at that moment on the train like things were moving fast and my emotions were all over the place.

I blocked out thoughts of anesthesia complications, of the appendix bursting on the way and spewing all its appendixey things through Samantha's tiny intestines, of frustrating medical situations in a culture that, even though its familiar, still feels decidedly foreign when my baby's health is on the line. I prayed for peace and trust in the Lord's goodness to me. I prayed that I would remember all the times and ways He has proven His faithfulness to me, even when I couldn't see clearly the outcome. And, finally, the train arrived.

I got to the hospital and felt relieved at the evidences of a good standard of care even as I ran through the hallways, peering into exam room doors looking for the little foreign girl, who seemed so tiny on this day. All the thoughts I've had recently about how my children are growing up seemed very premature as I found Samantha, lying hot and sick on the exam table.

A quick ultrasound confirmed that her appendix was swollen to three times its normal size. I tried to recreate Madeline's plight to her - do you remember how she woke Miss Clavel in the middle of the night?! - to help keep her mind off the painful pressure of the technician's touch on her tummy.

She was admitted, and not long after went into surgery. It was 8:30pm. Josh and I ate Cheetos and KFC while we nervously waited just steps outside the operating room. It was the first food we'd eaten since 7am.

Finally, the noise of the operating room door opening brought us rushing to the entrance. The doctor proudly held out her stinky appendix for our examination. It was seriously stinky. She pointed out that there were a few perforations, which might lead to some infection, but otherwise, everything went well.

The next couple of days were a hazy mix of sleeplessness, temperature checks and IV drips. Last night, I returned home to get the other girls from their extended sleepover at Amy's house and left Samantha in Josh's very competent hands. The goodbye I had to give her at the hospital was a pathetic attempt to be strong when just behind my strong face was a flood of tears, waiting to be released as soon as the elevator doors closed. At the time I left, her fever still had not returned to normal and was having frequent pain.

My only comfort in leaving her has been that Josh is much more capable than I of making sure she gets the best and quickest care. I'd probably read her more stories, and snuggle in the bed, but it's josh who will stay on top of the situation and make the choices that are best for her care. And he's not a bad snuggler, either.

The only problem is, that leaves me at home...in a home that feels very empty without her. Even Emma seems to feel a bit lost - today she wandered from room to room looking for something to do. This marks the first day - ever - in the history of her life that I've seen her that way. It's like a critical part of herself - and our family - is missing. I feel it too, and with all my heart want them back now!

The continued fever has caused us and the doctors to assume there's still some lingering infection, so they won't be discharged as soon as we'd hoped. I'm still holding on to the prayer that they'll be released Monday or Tuesday, at the latest.

Even though I am miserably passing the time until they return, I look back at this and see so very many evidences of God's goodness to us - the early detection, the friend willing to drop everything and drive us to the capital, the guidance of which hospital to go to, the ability to leave my other kids with someone who will love them and care for them for as long as I needed...I really could go on with so many more things. I know God has been good to us and preserved Samatha's health and life. There are so many things to be thankful for and so many reasons to bask in His goodness.

And once they get back home where they belong, I'll have another reason too.

sweet nothings

This afternoon while we were eating lunch, Emma was recounting with dreamy eyes some of her conversations with Alex from last night's meeting.

Spoken like a true romantic, she shared this tiny tidbit:

"Alex told me that I was made from dust."

He's got quite the way with women, don't you think?

it's Wednesday...

On my side of the world, it's a Wednesday.

That means my house helper is off work. When we returned from Hong Kong, she asked me if she could have wednesdays off to take care of her husband who [abbreviated version] fell down the stairs and messed up his leg.

This morning was another deliciously beautiful day - nice breeze, sunshiney, just begging us to be outdoors. For today's outing, I chose a little park we haven't been to in a while - it's a secluded place off a main road, where lots of play toys are shaded by nice big trees.

Unfortunately for me, I did not factor in the masses of people that would be there today. We played in the shade for a while and then finally gave up and took off for a walk.

Our walk scored some major points. We came across a newly built building that said it had a "children's playpark" inside. I took a look inside. The first floor playspot was covered (intentionally) in sand and had tons of dump trucks, a big boat, shovels and buckets. Very enticing, except I had Abby with me and she would have ingested 65% of their sand had we chosen to stay there.

The lady manning the sand station pointed me downstairs. As we all headed down the stairs, I could feel the breeze from the air-conditioner seeping through the cracks in the doors, and that's when I knew - it had to be something good.

I was totally right.

It was the best, newest, cleanest, and coolest indoor playpark in our whole city. Amazing how these discoveries are made!

It was a bit more expensive than the other playparks (today's visit cost us about $10, and Abby was let in for free), but if I buy a card, then a visit for my family will only cost me $6. I can handle six bucks.

While the big girls played and ran and jumped and screamed, there were plenty of toys to keep Abby safely occupied. I loved watching her climb and jump and play.

This little doo-dad here was a coconut here tree, with veerrry low-hanging coconuts, meant for swinging and spinning. It was one of the highlights of the place.
Abby spent a lot of time in the ball pits - there were three different ones, of various shapes and sizes, to choose from.
The zip-line is always one of Emma's favorite things. I've conditioned myself not to jerk in fear when she crashes into the wall at the end. She's pretty used to it by now. You can see she had an admirer in the background...
After a while, they discovered the ball shooters. Emma actually did really well aiming and successfully shooting at targets on the other side of the room.
Lots of concentration was involved:
Abby saw the need her big sister had for balls, and tried to do her part to replenish the supply. She discovered the reality that climbing is difficult to do when you have balls in your hands.
Samantha joined in on the ball-shooter activities, and commissioned Emma to resupply her ammunition:

This picture makes me happy, and here's why. There's this little cartoon here - about a little white lamb - that I totally hate. It bugs me to no end, and they always seem to show it in my kids' preschool, which bugs me even more. I think the characters in the cartoon speak meanly to each other, have disrespectful attitudes, and I just don't like my girls to watch it. I LOVED that Samantha's ball-shooter was positioned right in front of the little lamb. There was actually no way to shoot the gun without hitting the lamb. Sweet justice!
They eventually got a bag from some kid's father and set up a battle station.
The big, four-lane slide was a hit. The four of us had many rounds together!

Back to the coconut tree...
There was also an flower version of a rock-climbing wall:
After we had played long past my intended cut-off time, I sent everyone over to the door to put shoes on....but I couldn't find Abby. I glanced quickly around the room, and still didn't see her. I walked over to the ball pit and I found a little hand sticking out of the pile. She was totally hiding from me! I called the older girls over to come see how silly abby was being, and they ended up with a few more minutes of play out of the deal.
It's like a "Where's Waldo" picture, right? They're all in there...

Finally, we headed home: exhausted, hungry, and thirsty. We had leftover pizza, pb&j, and oreo pudding for lunch. They're all sleeping, I'm blogging, and everyone had a happy morning.

of long naps and schooling

It seems these days that Abby is ready to drop her morning nap. I've been holding on to it like it's the last piece of cookie dough. [Actually, I'm trying to cut back on cookie dough...something about all those warnings my nana gave me as a kid about the raw eggs is haunting me, since there's a little baby in my womb. But it worked for a great metaphor here, so let's move on.]

Abby is ready to drop the nap, I'm mourning its passing.

It's just that she wants to get into everything we do - and I've gotten really spoiled the last few months having an hour and a half of one-on-one time with the older girls. There are a lot of things you can squeeze into an hour and half!

But today showed me that maybe it will all work out ok.

Confession #1 - I put Abby in her crib with my computer playing Praise Baby on the side table. I know, I'm a bad parent. But it was only 25 minutes, and it gave me time to do Samantha's reading lesson, which cannot happen when she is distracted.

Confession #2 - When the older girls and I were cutting out pictures of magazines for a different activity, I gave her her own magazine. To rip. To chew. To destroy. I really didn't care. She seemed happy enough for a while.

Confession #3 - I put her down for a nap right after lunch. I mean, right after. And, by some strange twist of fate, I've done all my afternoon lessons with Emma and am still enjoying the silence of a long nap. [Note: Except that just at this very moment, I am hearing a loud thud from Abby's room. I'm sure she's grabbed hold of something...just not sure what it is!]

And here are a few pictures that seemed school-ish; this is the way-cool Math Balance that came with our first grade curriculum. Emma loves using it to review and brush up on her addition facts, though it can be used to teach multiplication and division.... I just haven't read the directions for that part yet. We're still a ways off from that!

And now, the silence of the nap has ended, but I even had time to post to my blog. Maybe this one-nap thing might not be so bad after all...

hong kong - the summary

It doesn't seem possible for me to do a short re-cap, but I'm going to give it a shot. I keep postponing blogging until I can get this Hong Kong post out of the way, so here goes. Hong Kong, in bullets.

• Abby on the plane: not as bad as I thought, but still a lot of work. That trip to America will be interesting, for sure...

• Emma and Samantha are great and easy travelers. This trip was a shocking reminder at how much they have grown up and how much they are capable of. (And my husband is a great travel-leader. I'm SO glad I'm not in charge of travel logistics!)

• Shots - one of the big reasons we had to go to Hong Kong to begin with. This was not a happy day. Everyone (except pregnant little me) had a minimum of four shots. Fun.

• Leapsters - every kid should have one. They made shot aftermath much easier. So does ice cream.

• Walking - lots and lots of Hong Kong walking. I think they plan it that way on purpose so you won't feel guilty for all the bad stuff you eat while you are there. Cheese Fries and a Bloomin Onion? Why not...?

• Public Playgrounds + free + not very many children = bliss.

• First time swinging = scary bliss.

• Finally, I don't hover protectively around all the drop-offs on playground equipment. My girls are great climbers!

• And they love playing together!

• Cable Car Ride - beautiful and really fun! I thought it would be lame, but we all really enjoyed it.

• I feel like this picture sums up a lot of little subtleties about my life: the hair in the bun, the brown necklace from Rachel, holding Abby, Abby sucking her fingers. Yep, that's my life.

• Josh and Emma checked out some of the temples and prayed for the people who were offering incense to the idols at the top of this mountain.

• When they came back, we all took a picture together. Thank you, self-timer.

• Then the girls played in a shady spot before we took the cable car back to the starting point.

• I have a hard time getting a good picture of Samantha - she always tries to make funny faces in pictures, but I really liked this one.

• Subway Sandwich - how do I love thee? Let me just count the ways...! We had a great picnic one day before heading out to see a true-to-life representation of Noah's Ark.

• Again, the self-timer. My family gets so tired of me trying to pose family pictures.

• The Noah's Ark attraction? VERY cool. There was one place that had tons of different rooms for hands-on activities: music, human body, plants, animals, the oceans, architecture, etc. This is not-to-be-missed attraction if you have kids! My kids were a little on the young side, but they still loved the exhibits and we could have spent much more time there.

• This picture was taken in the Art room:

• The surrounding gardens - beautiful.

• So beautiful, in fact, that I staged another group picture.

• Everyone requested their picture to be taken next to various animals.

• I also requested my photo to be taken next to a more human looking specimen. =)

• There was lots more about Hong Kong, but after a while, I got lazy with picture taking. We were glad to get back home, and now we will resume more normal posting.

last-minute change of plans

Friday morning in Hong Kong.

We got on the MTR with the other hundred thousand commuters and headed over to Hong Kong Island for a doctors appointment at 9am. Why we keep scheduling doctors appointments for 9am is still a mystery to me.

We finished early and were walking to the Pier to take a Ferry across the harbor, back to the peninsula side. It was a beautiful day. Blue skies. Cool breeze. All those little phrases used to describe, well,...perfect days.

"Too bad we didn't plan today for Disneyland!" Josh says to me. "It would have been the perfect day to go."

I was silent for a moment. Then: "Let's go. We're right here at the subway stop. Let's just go! I have a diaper in my purse, the camera is already with us. Why not?"

We laughed at each other and the spontaneity of the situation. We kept walking a few minutes down to the pier (as originally planned) and picked up a few Subway Sandwiches before buying our tickets to Hong Kong Disneyland.

The girls waited outside the Subway Sandwich shop, totally oblivious to our change in plans. We hadn't breathed a word to them about our idea.

We walked down to the MTR stop - while josh bought some bottled water at 7-11, the girls debated on whether or not they really needed their own ticket. They do.
We rode the yellow line all the way to the interchange for the Disney line. That's when the girls started getting suspicious. Finally, when the Mickey Mouse-themed subway pulled up, they were confused/excited/shocked/hysterical.

"Oh no!" we told them. "We got off at the wrong stop! This is the stop to go to Disneyland! What should we do?"
We should get on, of course! [PS - I love the mickey subway. It starts priming you for Disney long before you step foot on the grounds.]
Soon after entering the park, we stumbled upon the princesses. Emma had a heart to heart with Princess Aurora:
...and, speaking of Aurora, she left a lipstickey kiss on Abby's cheek. Abby was skeptical and unsure of the lady, princess or not.
But Samantha was perfectly at ease!
The princesses are so fun to see because they can actually talk to you. They ask the girls such funny questions, and the girls give them equally funny answers. They shower them with compliments and make my kids feel like princesses themselves. It's all very special and emotional. I have no idea why I always feel so teary.
This trip, perhaps because it was unexpected from the start, put us going through the park backwards from how we've done it in the past. We ended up at Mad Hatter's Tea Party next. Abby and I rode together:
...while Josh spinned Emma and Samantha until they couldn't see straight. You can see what torture it was for them.
While we were waiting in line for the Dumbo ride, another unexpected thing happened: Minnie, Mickey, and Goofy came out of their little character spots and got on the Dumbo ride. How bizarre it was! But the girls thought it was totally cool - and Dumbo became the new favorite ride.

This picture was taken during the Dumbo ride by Josh - who was NOT in charge of wrangling Abby during this ride - and proves why Hong Kong Disneyland is the best Disney park for young children. Do you see all those people? The huge crowds? The masses of people waiting for a glimpse of their favorite mouse?

I don't either.

It's because there's hardly anyone there, at least compared to the insane amounts of people at the other Disney parks. This is heaven and bliss for people who don't like crowds.

While we were flying through the sky with everyone's favorite pachyderm, I spied Jiminy Cricket over in one corner of the park. Once we safely disembarked the elephants, we hurried over to see the Cricket.

Emma and Samantha (and Daddy) have no idea who he is or where he is from, but that didn't dampen their enthusiasm. And we got a cute picture of all of us, looking at the camera even!
We stayed in "character mode" and went over to visit Minnie and friends.
Then we got tired of standing around and went over to Small World. Love that Small World ride, I tell you. It's my fave.
This was by far our best Disney trip. Why? One reason, the biggest reason, was the weather. It was our first time to really be in Hong Kong when we weren't dripping with sweat and planning the entire day around how we can get back indoors. The weather has been beautiful and has made it so enjoyable to be outside.

Another reason is that we kept stumbling onto things we'd never seen or done before. Like the guy with the Chinese yo-yo spinny things outside of Small World! Can you believe it? The spinny things - like with Acrobat Mom! At Disneyland! I was....shocked! This guy was doing a little show in the courtyard and was really good. He needed a volunteer, so my eldest daughter ran right up there.
She looked so cute in his green hat!
After Emma's turn was over, Samantha decided she wanted to help out too. I was slurping down my Coke Slush while all this was happening, so Josh dutifully took over picture taking.
Then we all had an ice cream cone, just to celebrate our children's great accomplishment. Well, actually, we just had the ice cream cone. Do you really need a reason to have an ice cream cone?

Next Unexpected Surprise: Woody and Jessie! We've never seen Woody and Jessie before and we were all so very, very excited. [No, I'm not being sarcastic. We were all really that excited. Okay, maybe not Josh. But the rest of us were.]

After waiting a bit, we were welcomed like long lost friends.


Though it was hard to guess what they were saying with their big-suit-sign-language, I'm convinced they really liked us and wished we never had to part.
Whaat? How did Josh sneak a kiss in to Jessie? Personally, I thought he was more of a germophobe than that, but I guess not...

Would you believe that right after we finished seeing Woody and Jessie, we saw Buzz? Actually, we were getting in line for a ride when Buzz walked out from behind a gate to go greet some people. Emma and Samantha were asked to escort him to his spot - they loved it! (And I'm sure he did, too.)

They still had to wait in line, but that was no problem. Do you see that guy in the green shirt? I really like him. A lot.

Wow - after seeing Woody and Jessie and Buzz, we could have called it a day and gone home. But since we got to the park later than usual, we were going to try to stay for the fireworks at the end....since we'd never actually done that. Or the parade. We're such bad parents.

On the way to the Jungle River Cruise (another thing we'd never done before - remember, I have girls. Nothing about "Jungle River Cruise" sounds remotely enticing to them.) we stopped at the castle for a family pic. Please disregard the fact that Emma is holding her head. We're all still a little unsure what was going on at that time.
We stopped and listened to the band, and looked at all their instruments.
And after the Jungle River Cruise, I grabbed a spot to wait for the parade while Josh went in search of snackable eats. He came back with Cotton Candy for the girls and Caramel Popcorn for us. I'd say he did a good job!
The parade was fun, except for the girl sitting next to Samantha that kept telling her to shush. I wanted to tell her to shush and revoke her park pass. How can you tell someone to shush at Disneyland??
By 5pm, Abby had had enough. Unfortunately, this nap only lasted about 15 minutes.
We unexpectedly ran into some friends and spent dinner with them, and then all stayed to watch the fireworks together. We made it! And did the parade! And did the fireworks!

And then I went home and collapsed on the bed.

The End.