handling sibling squabbles with grace

So here's the scene:

Emma is playing quietly in Abby's room, making an elaborate tea party for some VIP-dolls. In fact, I'd hardly heard a peep from her in almost an hour. Abby is in the living room with me playing and reading. After some time, she heads into her own room to retrieve something - some treasured toy, maybe her blanket or doll.

Seconds later, Emma comes into the living room...full of shrieks and tears. Abby has destroyed her tea party.

Such is the life of an older sister and a younger sister. Abby is just old enough to want to do everything her big sisters do, and just young enough not to be able to play well by the rules, and to do her everything in a very pesky way.

We've spent a lot of time coaching Emma and Samantha on proper responses to Abby's shenanigans. Most of the time, Abby isn't trying to be malicious - and when she is, we try to be quick to respond. They're gradually starting to learn that letting go of the "prized toy" (whatever it might be at the moment) usually only lasts for a few moments before Abby gets distracted by something else, and that keeping peace in the relationship has a higher value than that toy.

On this particular day, the day of the upturned tea party, I tried to impart another nugget of truth to her. By including Abby in their play, lots of great things can happen:

• they set an example to her by being kind and thoughtful.
• by giving her directions within their play, they can preserve their own tea party...or whatever activity they're involved in that minute.
• they have the chance to serve their sister in love.
• Abby will usually get tired/distracted/uninterested in their game after just a few moments and the bigger girls can resume their playing.

Emma murmured her acceptance of my profound wisdom and walked off to her room. That was the last I heard of her for quite a while. Until...

"Ta-da! Abby, fair maiden*, please come with me to your room where you are invited to attend a royal tea party!"

Abby actually let out a little gasp - mostly from uncertainty, I'm sure - and followed Emma down the hall. Emma had replaced her favorite dolls with Abby's favorite dolls and laid out another elaborate tea party. Since Abby is well-versed in tea parties, she was seriously excited. It was the mother-lode of tea parties.

Emma showed her many of the finer points of tea-partying that were previously unknown to Abby, such as...how to feed a baby doll a corn on the cob:
Abby's a quick learner. Emma's a good teacher.
Apparently with corn on the cob, double-dipping is not so much of an issue. Lambie got a few bites, though I think Naked Baby Doll ate most of it.
Emma was so kind and thoughtful to her younger sister; she truly pulled out all the stops in an effort to serve her. After a round of appetizers, Emma concluded that the dollies must certainly be thirsty. She ran over to the kitchen to get another round of tea.
And everyone drank.
Naked Baby Doll - Abby's forever favorite - leads a charmed life.
Ming Ming Duck gets some ice cream, which wasn't offered to anyone else. Though we seldom watch Wonder Pets, Ming Ming duck is also favorite (when she's not lost under the bed, that is).
I know that life with younger sisters can be difficult, especially at these young ages. But I'm so thankful at how the Lord has softened Emma (and Samantha, too) to the needs of her littler siblings. She showed such grace and maturity in receiving my correction earlier in the day, and then so cheerfully set about to make it right. I love watching her grow in godliness! And I loved watching the joy Abby had in "being special" to Emma.
I know there will be more moments of difficulty in the future, but hopefully more triumphs of grace, too.

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*"Fair Maiden is Emma and Samantha's nickname for Abby. I have no idea how or when it started, but it cracks me up.