secrets

Bedtime routines are some of the best routines ever, and provide some of the sweetest times with my kids. I remember when I was little and my parents ALWAYS (well, in my mind it was ALWAYS) came to my room, sat on my bed and said goodnight, with all the hugs and everything else that went with it. I was so happy when emma got to the age where bedtime could be negotiable - not when utter exhaustion finally won out in a whining, emotional display (ie, where samantha is right now).

For emma, the bedtime ritual is the same every night. Daddy puts on jammies and brushes teeth, then we all say prayers together. Mommy puts emma in bed, usually after picking one of two of her "special" books - books that don't go on the everyday shelf, and are kept high on top of her wardrobe. These favorites are things like "Angus Lost" (the current favorite), "The Big Green Pocketbook" (mom's favorite), or Jesse Bear. Then after a few stories with snuggly lap time, many nights I'll lay in bed with emma and talk before finally making her stay in her bed by herself.

We talk about all sorts of things when I lay in bed with her. Usually, she rambles about her favorite event or person (dora apparantly likes to eat chocolate cake, as does Mater) or talks about what she did that day, or what she thinks we should do the next day. A few months ago, I introduced the word "Secret" to her. I would ask her if she had any secrets she wanted to tell me. She always says, "Yeah, I do" and then can't think of a single thing to say, so I'll start first. I'll tell her something like, "I had an extra peice of chocolate cake today when daddy wasn't watching" or "Sometimes it's hard for me to have kindness for the people outside"...mostly just conversation starters, but it also is me sharing a bit of my real life secrets too. Of course, she didn't really get the concept, and she doesn't really now, though she might after tonight.

Tonight, I asked her if she had any secrets. Her long eyelashes opened wide her blue eyes and she said, "Yeaaah," with a sparkle.

"Ooooh, what is it?" I enquired.

Nothing. Silence. A blank stare.

"Ok, I have a secret. My secret is....that I bought something for Emma and Samanta today."

"yeah, you bought me a luigi car!" (Emma had already received the 50 cent toy I found for her today when I was out shopping; it was Luigi from Cars.)

"I bought you something else. That's my secret."

"Well, what is it?" she pressed.

"I can't tell you, Em! It's a secret! That's why it's a secret."

"Oh." she stopped and thought for a moment. "Well, where is it?"

"I cant' tell you, then it won't be a secret anymore!"

"Oh. So you really can't tell me what it is?"

She was baffled that I wouldn't tell her. But now maybe she knows what a secret is!

(The secret gift is a Dora the Explorer clip-on backpack. It has a clip-on thing, like a walkman or something like that, in Backpack's shape and face and stuff...and you can put all your treasures inside. I haven't decided when I'll give it to her, and I was bummed that there weren't two - because you know, samantha has to have and do whatever her sister has and does - but it should be fun times.)