what I'll miss

It's hard to believe that July 5 is actually going to be here. Soon.

We've been able to see lots of friends and do lots of fun things in the days leading up to what will certainly be a mad packing rush.

Life changes so fast, that we go back to the States with the full realization that things will not be the same when it's time to return. Most people's lives don't stay the same, but it seems unusually true for people living overseas - the changes are big, and the changes are constant. Even if you don't know what will change, the fact that things will change constantly lingers in the backdrop of life.

These moments in our life, these moments in time as I know it will never come again; this is it. So with that in mind, I'm going to post some random thoughts on things I will miss about my life, as it is now.

I will miss friends. Local friends that have transcended the barrier of culture and have set up shop in the hallways of my heart. Local friends that are care enough to run to McDonalds in the dead of winter to celebrate a reading accomplishment. Friends that are comfortable enough to ask when they need something and don't make polite offers just to be polite. These friends in particular I will miss.

I will miss other friends that don't want anything from me except friendship. I've found that friends like that are so rare - most people want something: english lessons, help to immigrate to America, advice on how to help their kids study better, etc. The mom of this girl here wants nothing from me except to be my friend. I will forever love her for that. And my girls will forever love her daughter.
More friends. Friends that make me cry and wonder why God chose to be so good to my family. Friends that give my kids stability and confidence and acceptance and love. Friends that make a mama's heart nearly burst with emotions I never thought I'd feel til my kids were much older.

I will miss MY friends. Friends that have seen too much of my bad, some of my good, have heard me laugh, cry, snort, complain and watched me eat way too much...
...have prayed for me, have been there when things were falling apart, have been there when my life was great. Because of these two ladies, my life will never, ever be the same. There will be a huge space in my heart that will always be theirs.
I will miss the fact that our life is unusual. I will miss looking out our 10th floor window at traffic accidents. I will miss that fireworks always cause us to run to the window and watch. I will miss the things that seem very normal here, but in America will be very abnormal.
I will miss the unusual; the daily reminders that we are sojourners in a foreign land - the incense, the taxis, the asian architecture. Being here reminds me that my home is in heaven, my place is with Christ. I'm afraid I'll go back to America and be way too comfortable. I'm afraid that all the things that show me I don't fit in will be gone, and I'll go back to thinking America is where I belong.
I'll miss ladies night. I'll miss watching the body of Christ work in amazing ways. I'll miss watching healing and sharing and openness and generosity and love. I'll miss laughing.
Lots and lots of laughing.
In fact, so much laughing, it's hard to stay on topic sometimes.
But that's why we have the body, right?
I'll miss cheap manicures and making my girls feel special.
I'll miss someone making my lunch - and cleaning it up - for me, every weekday. I'll miss Chinese food. [Well, some of it, anyway...]
I'll miss this lady. She loves my kids almost as much as I do.
She certainly knows them almost as well as I do.
This lady - who was once just my house helper - has become my best local friend. We've both influenced each other in countless ways...as in, I used scissors to cut my pizza the other day because I've seen her do it so many times. =) I love her, faults and all. She loves me, faults and all. I can't imagine the last four years without her.
That's a lot of stuff to miss. I'm working on a list of things I won't miss, but that feels a little negative and condescending. If I can find a way to make it funny, I just might post it anyway. I look back at these four years and find myself amazed at who I've become. I've changed more than I thought was possible. My heart is different, my outlook, my faith, my theology, even parts of my personality are different. I look back at these four years and I see - overwhelmingly - God's goodness. More than I deserve, more than I can even recognize, more than I understand...God has been overwhelmingly good to us.

He is good. So very, very good.

If the last four years have been so good, even when things change it assures me that the upcoming years will be equally colored with His goodness.

It's things like that that won't change.